Chlorinated Chic

⚠️ Spoiler‑Scented Luxury Advisory ⚠️
Proceed at your own peril: the following essay may scald the delicate sensibilities of White Lotus devotees, infinity‑pool romantics, robe‑swaddled fashionistas, gold‑leaf‑latte connoisseurs, and anyone whose emotional support animal is a designer handbag. Expect splashes of truth, gusts of satire, and occasional flecks of irony that could chip your Hermès manicure. Hydrate, breathe, and remember—no amount of SPF can fully protect you from blistering commentary on unchecked opulence!